Someone needed a time out! And that someone was me! Man, I needed a break and there seemed no better place than going to see Mom.

It has been a particularly challenging year and I was out of steam. It had been a season of ongoing demands and pushing through really hard stuff. I hadn't gotten out of the house much except to run errands and work. I hadn't been on a walk with my neighbor in months. The back porch, with my favorite swing had been vacant and quiet all summer. I hadn't even spent regular time with God, reading my Bible or praying. I was dried up and tired.

So I left by myself, making the three hour drive to Helena, listening to Christian music while letting the tears fall. I was looking forward to sleeping in and not having to do or be anything for anyone for a few days. My time with Mom was relaxing. We visited, caught up on the happenings in Helena, got to see the dozens of projects Mom was working on, took some walks, and shared thoughts and concerns. As the weekend came to an end, Mom was teary as we said our goodbyes. She told me how much she appreciated me sharing time and conversation with her.

As I drove home, I reflected on Mom's words, how much she appreciated me "sharing time and conversation" with her. It caused me to think of one of the reasons why I had needed my "time out".

Our 22 year old son was at a crossroads in his life, making major decisions that would be rather life altering. He hadn't shared much or asked for our input. It made me sad because sharing is one of the things we had always done so well. But that was before his life had turned upside down. Now he was wounded and hurting, making decisions that I feared would not be the best. How I wish he would share with me or consider my concerns. I understood that he was his own man and needed to make his own choices. I wasn't trying to run his life. I just wanted to help him see beyond his pain so that he could make decisions that he wouldn't later regret. I also knew that no matter what decision he made, it would impact all of us in his family. It's interesting how our children think they make their own decisions and yet don't always recognize that those decisions create ripple effects on those who love them. But he was choosing to forge ahead without my input.

My thoughts turned to my own sense of brokenness, a result of this hard season in life. But I had to admit, some of my brokenness was because I too hadn't been sharing with my Father. Distracted, exhausted, and busy with life, my spiritual life felt dried up. Sure, I had prayed. In fact, I'd probably prayed more in this past year than any other season of my life. But I realized my prayers had been more about my pains and worries than my gratitude. And my prayers had been pretty one-sided, not pausing to listen to what God might have to say. I wondered if He too felt left out, observing me make decisions and choices that He'd love to have input on if only I would pause long enough to listen.

Jesus' words in Matthew 11:28 came to mind: "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest." Like going home to see my Mom in order to take a break, and like wanting my son to come to me, Jesus wants us to come and rest with him, laying our concerns and burdens at His feet.

Today is a new day. I will choose to spend time with God, sharing and listening for his direction because He too is only wanting to help us make decisions that we won't later regret. What a privilege to have such a loving Father. If only I would lean on Him more.