A week after my husband Ron’s heart catheter procedure, the sticky bandage still clung tightly to his thigh. We needed to check the wound, so the sticky bandage needed to come off. Although he’d been tremendously shaved prior to the procedure, men simply have too much hair and their bodies weren’t meant for being taped, waxed, or otherwise made bare. Leaving that sticky bandage on much longer was only going to compound the problem.

As we discussed how to remove the sticky bandage, great resistance came from Ron. It’s not like I enjoy seeing him in pain, but sometimes we simply must do what needs to be done. Motherhood prepares one for moments like this. So, in one quick movement, I ripped it off, just as he cried out, begging me, “Don’t rip it! Don’t rip it!”

Moments later, there was a knock on our bedroom door. College age son Josh reminded us “we have neighbors”! Evidently, the whole fiasco had caused our son great embarrassment, especially when we realized, yes indeed, the window was open for all to hear! Gee, without even trying, we had once again embarrassed one of our children! Isn’t parenting fun?

As Josh closed the door, Ron assured me he’d never forgive me, but as soon as he caught his breath, we found ourselves laughing hysterically. Yes indeed, what had the neighbors thought in hearing Ron’s desperate and loud pleas to, “not rip it”?

As God often does, he uses these moments to teach. Ron’s bandage had served its purpose, but with that accomplished, it being stuck to his skin wasn’t going to improve the situation. I couldn’t help but ponder other things that can get us stuck: Bad circumstances, jobs, or relationships.

God doesn’t want us stuck; He wants us growing, healing, and moving toward Him. If people, positions, habits, or circumstances are creating stumbling blocks in our growth toward God and what He has created us to do, no matter how painful it might be, we might have to rip some things out of our lives. 2 Timothy 3:1-5 is a good reminder: “But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people.” (ESV). In John 15, Jesus gives the analogy of a gardener pruning away dead or unfruitful branches.

We often call this “setting boundaries”. Like most people, I’ve had to make the hard choice to separate myself from toxic people and circumstances. Even when people are abusive or circumstances are not beneficial, creating boundaries can be very painful. They are important though because as Proverbs 22:24-25 states, “Make no friendship with man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.” (ESV). Equally important is the reminder in Matthew 5:44: “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” (NIV).

There is comfort in praying. We can’t hate someone when we are praying for them. We can’t grow bitter about a circumstance if we’re praying over it. And so I pray, because God can repair and restore anything or anyone that has had to be ripped away, making it something that is better than before.