As Thanksgiving neared, I knew my son wanted to invite his girlfriend to join us. But recently, there had been a misunderstanding that caused some hurt feelings. As far as I was concerned, it was water under the bridge. She was more than welcome to join us. But I waited to make the invitation because I wanted my son to ask. Learning to ask for his wants and needs was an important part of communicating and development as a man of character. So, I held out, waiting.

About 4 days ahead of the holiday, he and I were discussing the menu and rather tentatively, he finally asked. “Of course, she’s welcome,” I answered. An unseen tension in the room seemed to pop like a balloon when touched by a pin. Our conversation relaxed and felt comfortable like it usually was.

I thought of other times when asking mattered. I appreciated when the grandchildren asked for a treat rather than just taking one. I appreciated when my children asked if I would help them, rather than just assuming I would. My ‘yes’ answer was the same regardless but it was nice to be asked. It showed respect & authority for me as their mother/grandmother. It wasn’t like I was on some power trip, but the asking makes me feel honored and appreciated. And good manners are developed in the process.

Reflecting on this caused me to think of Father God. He’s a much better Father than I am as a human mother and yet, He also wants us to ask for our needs and wants. He knows my requests before they even leave my tongue but by asking, it shows humility, respect, and proper alignment of who I am as His child. Asking shows reverence to His authority and creates communication between us, just like it did with my son.

Asking also brings gratitude. When a request is granted, a thank you is appropriate. As the treats come out of the pantry, there is a thank you. As we babysit so the adults can have an evening out, there is a thank you. A big happy circle of communication leaves us feeling needed and appreciated. It creates warm feelings as we recognize the value of each other in our lives, in the small and large details. Just like it pleased me to say ‘yes’ to my son’s request, our Father is pleased when our requests align with His will and can say ‘yes’. It develops our character and creates a dependence on our heavenly Father.

God is a good and loving Father. It’s His desire to bless us. He wants us to ask. It even pleases Him when we ask, even if it feels trite and small. His answer can’t be ‘yes’ to a request that is never asked. And when His answer is ‘yes’, may our praise and gratitude reach the ears of our Father. For all glory and honor is His!

John 16:23-25: “Ask and you will receive, so that your joy may be complete.”